Spiritual Inventory - Grab the Hefty Bags

We have been thinking of ourselves as a house. With thoughts of taking a spiritual inventory, we must count up what we have, what we are missing and how profitable we have been. The man in the mirror.

Some of us are pack-rats. We have picked up something from just about every place we have ever been. Some are just the opposite. Shutting out all and trusting little. The former picks up stuff voluntarily, (codependent) and the latter constantly takes in and stuffs it. Usually finding release in a fit of rage or vice.

Regardless, we have stuff. That's why we take an honest look at what we have "built" over the years. We are coming to find out that many of us are supporting far more weight than our architect's spec's say that we can support.

Most of my weight was anger, resentment, bitterness, despair, confusion, jealously, envy and pride. Just to name a few tons of superfluous weight to a crumbling structure.

Alcohol was merely a symptom. A quick-fix to try and support this bulging structure.

I had to remodel. I began to take a good hard look at my foundation. It had issues. Major issues. With the help of the Celebrate Recovery material and some honest people around me, I began slowly tossing out junk. 

Getting rid of the pile has been easier than I first thought when I first took inventory and wanted to deny it's enormous existence. 

I started with the most recent stuff. After all it is on top of the stuff I picked up years ago. 

I am realizing that I have to get rid of everything not put there by Jesus. I must get to Christ - The Cornerstone. 

Liberty. Clarity. Freedom. Who thought cleaning house could be this much fun. People want to forgive. People want to heal. Getting rid of the really old stuff has been made much easier by having the more recent stuff out of the way. (In my case, alcohol, which I actually thought could help me support all the old stuff)

Matthew 6:33 states to seek the kingdom of God first...and all the stuff will be added to you. This is beyond a revelation. We work on the depth and God brings the breadth.  

It almost seems too easy. Jesus actually helps us get rid of all the old stuff, and then he replaces it with the stuff we always wanted in the first place. (Joy, contentment, peace, trust, purpose) 

Everything.

I mean He is enough. All sufficient. Holy.

Very large and very in charge.

Some secrets for relaxing and better sleep

Psalm 4:6-8 (Message Bible)

Why is everyone hungry for more? "More, more" they say. "More, more". I have God's more-than-enough, More joy in one ordinary day than they get in all their shopping sprees. At day's end I'm ready for sound sleep, for you God, have put my life back together.

Matthew 11:28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Psalm 127:1

If God doesn't build the house, the builders only build shacks. If God doesn't guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap. It's useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone. Don't you know He enjoys giving rest to those He loves?

Heavy Load?

Fwd: Please Comment!

Hey Everyone... Please leave comments if something sticks out to you. (a.k.a. touches your heart, pricks your conscience, etc...) Comments help to spread the love and just like in our open share groups on Friday, and our closed group on Monday, we learn from other people's perspectives more often than from our own... or is that just me? To comment, just click on the "comments" link below the post. You can post anonymously or with one of your pen names, or if you're brave enough, use your own name. Also, if you live in the "blogger" world, you can sign in with your username and password, and post that way. It's easy! Also, if you would like to submit your own post (a.k.a. start a new thought) just email it to keith and he'll post it for you. This is YOUR blog, for YOUR recovery!

PAIN

Pain. Gets our attention. It is our best friend or our worst enemy. 

It's been said that God allows adversity in our life to get our attention. Is that positive? In Celebrate Recovery we say that our openness to change increases as our pain increases. Is that positive?

Pain. Sometimes undeserved - oft times self inflicted in my case.

I have been thinking about some pain I had last year that is now making my life oddly less painful. The economy skidded to an abrupt halt. We were alright for a while and then we began to feel the pinch. The pinch turned into a giant vice from hell - so it seemed.

This vendor was great for a while and then it turned over to corporate for faster collection. Despite my payments - it was not enough. They said they were being slow paid or not paid at all nation wide and they were ,pulling out all the stops to collect.

 

The squeeze was on.

I asked for an agreement. They said they would on their terms. They wanted a ridiculous amount per month for just a few months. They gave me no choice if I wanted to keep it out of collections. I reluctantly agreed.

I hated the pain. Come on God! I'm living right! I have no unconfessed sin in my life!!! Can I get a freakin' break? I'm working the "program" here!

Then I settled down and talked with a few trusted friends. Not much they said helped. Great. This could greatly impact our ability to do business in a small town.

So I simply turned it over to God. I had a problem. I was powerless to do any thing about....sound familiar? But I did. I gave it to God. As a matter of fact I gave the whole business to God. Maybe it was time for a change. I did not care if God would guide me. I simply (Step 3) "Made a decision to turn our lives and our wills over to the care of God".

Somehow we have made the enormous payments. No way this is happening. We are still operating and paying all our bills AND we are paying this huge amount every month. It is not possible in this economy. 

God must want this business going for now. It has been difficult. But I have learned something rather interesting and life-changing through all this pain. I believe my heavenly Father has allowed it to show me a lesson about about operating capital. It seemed that we never had enough. We just kept getting some capitol and then had to spend it. What was the end of this maddening cycle?

I learned that in a bad economy we could cut spending, tighten every belt and "put away" adequate sums of money for operating capital and margin. Of coarse, I gave the surplus to my vendor. But I proved that even in the leanest of times it could still be done over and above our daily expenses. 

How much more could be put away in times of good economy? 

Pain. Got my attention.

Monday Group Report 2.4.08

We had the meeting at my place last night instead of the Harbor Cafe. It was a relaxed night with friends with a purpose. 

I spared no expense in serving dinner to the guys. That's right. Subs from the Brunswick County mall (Wal-mart) and topped it all of with Wal-Marts "fresh baked"?(as opposed to?) "Home made"? (these people need CR for lying or denial) cookies. The gals will have trouble topping this Friday night - I offered three different kinds of subs.

We were finishing some thoughts on Sanity. (see last Monday's post) I am seeing men coming from hard core addiction learning from somewhat more stable men that are there for other reasons and vice versa.

We focused on three questions:

1. In the past, how has trusting only in your own feelings and emotions gotten you in trouble?

2. How can your Higher Power, Jesus Christ, help restore you to make sane decisions? How do you get a second chance?

So, in terms I can understand, the first one asks how trusting yourself and your instincts worked out for you so far. The second one says perhaps you would like to try something else. (assuming you were honest on the first)

One almost collective thought was about how we feel affecting how we see other people. The thought was that often lead to misunderstanding others and their motives/intentions. We can be suspicious characters at times. (women are far worse at this in my opinion, humbly speaking)(but not my wife, she's great at everything)

We also heard that "trying to run the show on our own" lead to fears and suppressed feelings in some that would rear their ugly heads in other areas. Perhaps anger, depression, pornography, alcohol and drugs.

Then we moved on to the second question. We heard about having a new found courage and confidence through Christ. By realizing that we all have things that are beyond our control, we understand better the benefit of casting our cares on our risen Savior. We are powerless.

Could we do the same things over and over and expect a different result? 

The last part of that question was "how do we get a second chance?" This was difficult for many of us as we passed the 2nd chance some many chances ago.

Then we got into the moment and grew a little last night. We started to think about CR as a second chance. I had to think about myself. I'm a believer that used to struggle greatly with alcohol. But now, even on my most stressful days do not make me think of drinking. But man it sure used to. I could drink on a mountain top or a valley.

But it seems, at least for me, that there are some check points that we get to on this journey of recovery. We began to ask how a person in the throws of addictive behavior of any kind can cross over to tackling other problems - and get rid of the current one.

Celebrate recovery is my second chance. I have new knowledge. I have received new wisdom. I have forgiven many. I have asked many to forgive me. I am realizing that it's not about me and I like it. I new right  from wrong before CR but was powerless to do much about it. I was relying on me. I wasn't a long shot, I was a no shot. I had zero odds for success. I was a professing Christian for crying out loud! 

All of my feeble, white-knuckled attempts prior to CR all had the same result. I'll take my friends. I'll take Christ. 

The Bible clearly states that we are joint-heirs with Jesus. Now. If you are a believer, and you have accepted Jesus as Lord of your life, your name is written in the Lambs Book of Life.

With permanent ink.

Top that.

What's this blog's purpose?

It is all about the money. Someday I'll sell this to Google or Yahoo. 

Actually.I'm not exactly sure yet. I was compelled to do it. It's success may determine by whom it was compelled.  I hope that it represents a real, hard, honest look at real recovery. No stone unturned recovery. The life changing kind.

Perhaps it will aid us in our current meditation on these truths from scripture. Perhaps there are those that will discover this blog and be unable to come to our meetings. Perhaps someone across the globe has a hurt, habit or hang-up and stumbles upon this blog and receives hope.

Please think of it as your blog. Please respond to posts if you like. You can do so anonymously if you want. Please don't sugar coat anything. Let 'er rip. Your true thoughts and feelings are greatly appreciated and needed. If you are really important, this is not your blog. Try itsallaboutme.com

If you would like to post something, simply email it to me. I'll post it right away most of the time.

The Power of The Group

I can't fully put into words what it is like to be with a group of guys that are serious about getting closer to God.

I'm really seeing better how someone shares a thought or answer to a question and it evokes a thought in someone else that becomes a life-changing thought. The group is diverse. 16 men from all walks and demographics. Some with self-esteem issues, pride issues, anger issues and addiction issues, just to name a few.

I was reluctant to believe that the power of a group would work when I discovered this CR thing. It didn't seem all that manly of a thought. Man was I wrong.

Watching people transform in front of my eyes is life blood for me. I need it for growth. I love growth, and the challenge of a group of peers that can see through me.

The scriptures about iron sharpening iron, and safety in a multitude of council, and faithful are the wounds of a friend are alive to me. 

Previously, I had no council, no peer group, and no real friends that would wound me when needed. God has surrounded with people that represent grace, love, and compassion but not an enabling bunch. 

Friday Music Was AWESOME!

Tim

Sanity - Monday Men's group

Principle 2: 

Earnestly believe that God exists, that I matter to Him, and that He has the power to help me recover.

Happy are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted. (matthew 5:4)

Step 2:

We came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

For it is God who works in you to will and to act according to his purpose. (Philippians 2:13)

Group question: What things have you been doing over and over and expecting a different result?

Misc. answers from our mixed men's group Monday night:

• Trying to change people
  
• Arguing with my wife
  
• How I talk and relate to my wife
  
• Acting like somebody that I am not
  
• Ignoring problems and relationships
  
• Move to a new place and think my problems won't resurface
  
• Looking to people to help/solve my problems
  

#1 Answer that all seemed to have in common: Trying to do things  and make positive changes that I'm powerless to do on my own.

Group Question: What is your definition of sanity?

Misc. answers from our mixed men's group Monday night:

• Calm, flowing and orderly life
  
• Consistency, balanced life/work/relationships
  
• Realizing that I cannot change others
  
• A yielded life
  
• Realizing I'm not the center of the universe
  
• Aware of small victories
  
• Standing on the "mezzanine" and seeing my life through God's eyes.
  
• Transparency
  
• Doing this Celebrate Recovery program
  

My personal favorite answer of the night: 

• "Me...fitting into God's world; not trying to cram God into mine"