What's my Pattern?

Negative patterns are predictable, continual, and nearly impossible to break.

We had the coolest dog years ago, his name was Barkley; the smartest dog we've ever had. He developed a negative pattern though. Something must have happened to him that was weather related. Maybe a lightning strike nearby him or a major wind caught him unaware.

You guessed it, every time the weather even looked like it was going to storm, he would freak out. I mean seriously freak out. Like jump through our house windows to get inside which would cut him every time. I guess he figured that the new wound was better than his fear of what could be in the storm. He dismantled a STEEL door by peeling off the outer skin and went

through the door.He got all cut up on that one too as well as the collateral damage. Man I wish I had a camera-phone back then because the site was incredible.

People, many people, have these same destructive patterns. A big storm or two happened, and now every time we see a storm brewing, we can start to lose faith.

It gets worse.

My dog Barkley kept getting worse. He started freaking out even on sunny days. We finally took him to a doggy shrink (don't laugh, he was a family pet!) But what we learned was a life lesson for me. (I did not know it at the time)

Let's say on the day of the storm, before the storm came, a yellow school bus drove by. Then the UPS man came and delivered a package. In Barkley's mind these things were part of a much larger conspiracy to put him in the middle of a treacherous storm all alone.

Bam!

I speak with humans everyday with the exact same tendency. The pattern is identical. They are constantly looking for "the rug to get jerked out from under them". So we start seeing school buses and UPS trucks and we are immediately in our pattern of fear. Regardless of the weather! This is fear at it's most abominable level.

Object lesson: The world is NOT out to get you. The conspiracy to make your life a living hell does not exist.

Application: Give the new people in your life a chance. They are not the buses and trucks from your past. Step into healing and embrace victory over fear. OR - Get new people because your stuck with dysfunction!

Isaiah 26:3 You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you

Are you exactly where God wants you?

If I know I am where I need to be then I am a thousand percent more effective. Do you know you are where God wants you today? If so, I encourage you to do it with everything you've got. Why would we waste God's direction and timing?

If you do not feel that you are exactly where God wants you, then you probably need to decide from whence comes the discontentment. God is not the author of confusion. Not knowing where the discontentment comes from often will keep us from being effective in other areas that have nothing to do with our source of unhappiness. It is like a debilitating tiredness. It will keep us lethargic in nearly all areas until we identify the source.

God seems to take glee in those who make the best of their circumstances. For some reason, he tests and tries his children. Take Joseph for example. He was thrown in a well by his own brothers and then sold as a slave and then falsely imprisoned. Crazy thing is, his story is remembered as a great success story that an almighty God left for us. Of course we will have dark and uncertain times; we most certainly will have victory as well.

Our prosperity, or lack thereof, has nothing to do with other people. God has full control of this.

Our peace, or lack thereof, has nothing to do with people. God controls this.

Our happiness, joy, contentment, fulfillment, and disposition all have nothing to do with people.

The apostle Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11 "...for I have learned to be content, whatever the circumstances."

Relax. God has this.

Do you have God? Do you know God? You may have heard of another scripture in Philippians that Paul states ..."that I may know Him and the power of His resurrection..." Great scripture, right? Read on: "...and the fellowship of his sufferings, being like Him in his death." Wow, pretty serious, I like the first half better!

God is looking for, and developing, men and women who will do his will without complaint. This is not possible without spending a considerable amount of time with Him. Remember the bumper sticker "know God know peace. No God, no peace"?

We need to spend some time on the phrase "know God", because God is often getting the blame for stuff about which He was not even consulted. Something in me this morning wants to say Wake Up! It is time for many of us to quit being soft and lost in our past hurts and failures. Move on. Many of us have the knowledge and grace already - but we are still discontent.

I am reminded of king David in the Psalms. In some he is crying out to God in great anguish and pain. He talks about the crushing blows of life and that his enemies are closing in on him and that he is afraid.

King david afraid.

Then I read in another psalm later on about his overwhelming joy and praise for that great God that has delivered him from his fears and his enemies. Sound familiar? Hopefully it does or it will.

Are you exactly where God wants you? Do you spend considerable time with Him? Is it possible to know anyone with whom you spend little time?

What will we trade for what we want right now?

This quote from Zig Ziglar made me really pause and take note:

The primary reason for frustration and failure in life is that we trade what we want most for what we want now. 

Common Traits of A Person Struggling with Addiction

It doesn't really matter what the addiction is. We can veg out on pretty much anything....these are often many of the symptoms:

1. Profound narcissism. They are often self-centered and self-absorbed.

2. Extreme grandiosity. Mostly image – addicts "front strength", but are actually weak with low self-esteem.

3. Manipulation and lying. Con games, lying.

4. Impulsiveness. Like lightning they move from impulse to action, bypassing the weighing of possible consequences to self or others.

5. Extreme risk taking. 

6. Externalizing of blame. It's always someone else's fault, never there own.

7. Isolation. They retreat into a world filled with secrets, shame and guilt.

8. Passivity. At times, they collapse into inaction, awaiting the rescue by others.

 

Sound like anyone you know? 

keith winstead // director of celebrate recovery & worship arts
tel 910.454.9302 // fax 910.363.4097 // mobile 910.269.6738 // email // twitter // blog // www

Get Quiet and Watch This

Funny - We apoligize for bad things that we say...

Listening to the message this morning, Troy spoke about it not being our harsh words to others that offend them, rather it's our heart that offends them. The thought occurred to me that when I offend someone, I blame my mouth. I tell them that I am sorry for my words. Why don't I say that I am sorry for my heart or for my soul being sick?

 It's the newest form of denial that I have discovered. 

keith winstead // director of celebrate recovery & worship arts
tel 910.454.9302 // fax 910.363.4097 // mobile 910.269.6738 // email // twitter // blog // www

Psalm 106--When God's got no reason to help me

Hello, Faithful CR Blog readers! This is Guy Spillers, worship leader and chicken-eater at Celebrate recovery, and not always necessarily in that order. For some reason the staff thought I might have something to contribute to the blog, so here we go...

I don't know about you, but sometimes I am so overwhelmed by ME that it is all can do to hope that God loves me or is going to help me recover from my hurts, habits and hang-ups. I try to remember the cross, remember God's love, remember God's faithfulness, but so many times I still end up being overwhelmed with guilt or shame or distraction or anxiety or one of the multitudinous other vices that can grip me.

Well, this morning I read Psalm 106, an amazing Psalm with an encouraging truth about God's love. And more specifically, what God bases his love on, what he hinges it on, what determines for God whether he loves us.

Psalm 106 traces the history of God's working in the historical nation of Israel. It makes particular mention of the many times where Israel was unfaithful to the Lord: their grumbling in the desert; the golden calf they made and worshiped at Horeb; their Baal worship in Canaan. And those examples are only the tip of the iceburg of their unfaithfulness.

Honestly, though, it doesn't sound too foreign to me. How often do I rebel against the circumstances God has placed me in; how often do I complain and accuse him of wrong; how often do I fail to rest in what he provides and instead run about like a headless chicken trying to feed himself!

Sometimes I am afraid and ashamed and discouraged, because after all my unfaithfulness, what reason does God have to continue working in my life? I feel like God could with complete justice throw his hands in the air with me and say, "Enough's enough!!" Well, I think Psalm 106:8 has the answer: "Yet he saved them for his name's sake, that he might make known his mighty power."

That should be one of the most liberating verses you've ever read. God doesn't look at me and you for a reason to save us, to help us recover, to make us new people. If God was waiting for us to get right first, he and we would be waiting for all eternity. God doesn't base his love on anything we do or are; he bases it on what he does and who he is!

It is a freeing thing to realize that our recovery isn't our pact with God--in other words, "You're recovery will succeed if you do this and this and this and this perfectly."--but instead is really God's pact with himself, e.g. "You're recovery will succeed because I am God and I love you and I will make you new so that all men will know that I am God."

God wants you and I to become new people so that we and everyone around us will know that he is God. Only One can save, only One can give life, only One can take away our brokenness and pain and replace it with joy and make us new and fresh and alive.

If you're suffering under the weight of the realization that you are a sinner too far gone to help yourself, then you are in a much better position than the one who believes he or she has it all together. Just take your gaze off yourself to the cross where Jesus died for your sins and rose again on the third day, to this greatest beacon of the love of God from whom flows life and rest and joy and peace. God will save you, and not because of you; because of Him.

Man, that is awesome! Trust Christ daily through your recovery; he is providing the strength, and he will provide the success! I am energized for the day!

Some Things I've Learned After Two Years of Recovery Work

1.  Asking for help is not a sign of weakness, rather intelligence.

2.  God never wastes a hurt.

3.  Trust and Fear issues are the main reasons that people have Hurts, Habits, and Hang-ups.

4.  The scriptures are the daily guide to life that few in recovery have time to read. 

5.  People who say they don't really struggle with anything are either lying, in denial, or don't understand the Bible.

6.  Nothing gives more courage and faith than someone's testimony of overcoming insurmountable circumstances.

7.  People with authority issues rarely make it through to healing without excruciating pain.

8.  Some of my life's most memorable moments were in a small group, watershed moment.

9.  Everyone needs a Godly mentor (sponsor). Without this, we often stay stuck, unchallenged and living a nightmare of changing jobs, relationships, and demographics, looking for greener grass.

10.  I now have the best friends that I have ever had. 

11.  People who don't trust anyone don't trust God. 

12.  The more I'm honest and transparent, the more friends I have - the opposite of what I thought.

13. Accepting God's forgiveness and forgiveness from others is easy compared to forgiving ourselves.

14. Selfish people stay sick longer.

15. It's never the fault of the person leaving the program when they decide to leave early.

16. People who don't do the 12th step need to go through the program again - they missed something critical.

17.  I found out I was not the only "weak" one with the weird thoughts and fears. 

18.  The more I read I realize that the greatest men and women in the world almost always had mentors and confidants, why shouldn't I have an accountability team and a Sponsor?

19.  Loneliness is a choice.

20.  Dead trees seem to give the most advice on how to grow fruit.

21.  People often go to dead trees to gain knowledge on how to grow fruit. Weird.

keith winstead // director of celebrate recovery & worship arts
tel 910.454.9302 // fax 910.363.4097 // mobile 910.269.6738 // email // twitter // blog // www

Another bad day or God's divine guidance?

The phone rings. The number is one that I recognize as pain. I answer it. This person has the ability to get under my skin by simply breathing.

You probably don't know anyone like that.

So, she says "I don't want him to do my work, I want the other guy that I had before". I commence to tell her that fellow no longer works for me. (like that would pacify her...) She begins to whine and make personal remarks about my guys. (that work for me)

It's anger time baby, right. Time to pull out the AK47 tongue and give her some of her own medicine. People like this should be put in their place! Right! I mean, she's rude, I saw it coming, and she is now going personal. Simple - time to blast her and let it ruin both of our days!!! 

Here we go baby!

Wait a minute. How has this worked out in the past? Honestly, never well. I have leveled my fair share of the verbally under-qualified. But I'm different now. I have given God control, full control of my life. How would I handle this situation if I knew God was in control?

Dang IT! I want to give her a BLAST!

But I say something completely civil. I tell her that I will call the fellow that no longer works for me and see if he is interested. Whew. That was calming. I remembered that I cannot die on every hill; this one is not worth the battle.

Here's the cool thing. God is in control. I found out today that we have sold some more jobs and I am under-staffed for the next few weeks for sure. It turns out that it helps me! I don't have to pull any guys from production jobs and do this small thing! This saves us money and time as well as gets us to the next production job quicker.

I probably could have forced my hand and given her one of my current guys that would have done an excellent job. But she would have been mad and picked apart the work that he did, thus dragging out this menial task and delaying profits.

I'm glad God is in control and I kept my mouth shut.

Pull the negative drain plug!

This is where I have had to make some really tough decisions. I mean really tough. I realized that the people that I am around greatly impact me, good or bad. I don't know why I took so long, but I pulled the plug on the negative people. I am now able to limit my time around them. The hardest part was assessing who they were and what to do about it.

You see, I don't have a special covenant with people, friends, or even family members. I can choose to limit my time with people who actually bleed the positive energy out of me. The people to whom I am referring are the ones that take, and take and take. They speak ill of others. They talk about themselves and their needs constantly as if I don't even exist. They are difficult to deal with and find drama in the smallest of things.  Chaos is often part of their weekly diet. They like to talk trash about me behind my back.

One of the coolest things in the world happened to me when I realized I could simply walk away. Overcoming some of my codependency issues has been half of the key, while the other half was God helping me understand my purpose in life.

Example: An event is coming, say, a birthday party or family event that "should" be attended. First, determine if it should be attended. Am I going because I feel pressured or guilt? Am I being codependent or am I supposed to be there. If I am overcoming codependency, then I am okay with the people that are going to talk about me if I miss. I am also wise enough to know that they are the same people that are going to find fault with me even if I go. 

Second, I ask myself if this fits my purpose in life. Post Celebrate Recovery, I have a much better vision for what I am doing here and what God is doing with me. This helps decision making immensely. It would be codependency, not strength and purpose, that would make me feel guilty about not attending a friend's or family Tupperware party! It does not fit either question that I ask myself. So I simply say no thank-you. Some will try to guilt me, but I will not be guilty. Refreshing isn't it? God has shown me that my purpose in life is to serve Him. This includes my family, ministry, and lastly my business. I will rarely do ANYTHING that does not fit into those three things. I was an approval addict as well as an alcoholic. Superfluous activities are the devil's playground for me!

In the Bible, 1 Corinthians 15:33, it states that "bad company corrupts good morals". I have to limit my time around people that drain me. They are like leeches sucking the life blood right out of me! 

Here's a tip: There will be things that you need to attend that you may be dreading. It fits both questions, going for the right reasons, and it fits my God-give purpose in life. But there will be blood sucking leeches there nonetheless. I will often show up right when the event starts and leave exactly when it is over. Thus limiting my blood-loss exposure time (B.L.E.T) If I show up early, I often pay, with the vultures of life sucking my energy in 7-11 size Big Gulps! If I stay late, the buzzards come in and suck the remaining life out and I go home with a distorted view of life all caused by people who are far away from God. Birds of prey will often peck the eyes of their next victim to see if they are dead. I guard my eyes by limiting my exposure around death.

Go late, leave early; I keep my thoughts and mind guarded against unnecessary abuse. 

The people that I CHOOSE to spend time with are there for the right reasons. I have less chaos. 

Often times chaos is a choice.

keith winstead // director of celebrate recovery & worship arts
tel 910.454.9302 // fax 910.363.4097 // mobile 910.269.6738 // email // twitter // blog // www

Dis-trac-tions

I started reading The 40 Days Of Love book today. It's called the
Relationship Principles of Jesus.

It's a book designed to get us to think about the commandment by
Jesus to love God and your neighbors as yourself. It's the greatest
commandment according to Jesus. However, to those of us in recovery,
this seems like landing on the moon compared to where we are.

Addiction is the great distraction from the very thing man was
created to do- fellowship with God. How could I possibly be worried
about such silliness as building relationships with my God and my
family when I am consumed with financial stress? Is it possible to
worry about such trivial things when I have problems, big problems to
work through? I need a drink. I need a good argument. I need money, a
new car, a job, a new spouse, somebody that will treat ME right. What
about me?

Addiction. Food, sex, drugs, codependency, approval, alcohol, and
workaholism, are all convenient distractions that result most often
from broken relationships.

Period.

Now, how important are relationships built on love? The very things
that we need, relationships built on trust and love, are the last
thing we need in chaos! Christ-based recovery is founded upon (re)
building relationships with God and man!

First we dethrone ourselves from the position of being god. Then we
realize I'm not God, and that a power greater than me could restore
me to sanity. Then we go on to a better relationship and trust in God
which paves the way for restored relationships with man.

After healing with God and man, we go on (12th step) and help others,
therefore developing countless new, healthy relationships! No wonder
we do not want to sit in a group and talk! That would take some
modicum of normality in relating to others. That's the very thing
that is keeping us sick. Dysfunctional relations with God and man! We
don't want an accountability group or a sponsor! No way. We are love
broken and relationship broken. Our view of love is distorted in
addiction and chaos.

It's not that the average person in recovery does not want to let
people in their lives, they don't know how. So we stay distracted.
Job, pets, children, vice, television, hobbies - you name it. We've
got stuff to do. We've got circles to run in and houses to re-clean.
Humans have a tendency to avoid that which will help them most. It is
the most bizarre discovery that I have made to date. (more on that soon)

Dysfunctional people need restored relationships with God and man.
That's the answer. We don't need money, lust, and material things as
a way to happiness! How has that been working out, by the way? The
path to restoring finances, jobs, people we can't control,
depression, anxiety, and low self esteem is directed more clearly and
quickly through loving God and loving man.

Just the opposite of how I typically think.

That train may never arrive

2 Thes. 3:10 "If a person will not work, then he will not eat." 

Now that's a rude verse in the bible! Or is it? Surely the sluggard will not have much in this life. If I decide to sit back and wait for my train to come in, I may never know where it could take me. I do, however, think there is a little more here than a harsh command to the couch potato.

In life, we can freeze up due to fear or insecurity and end up virtually doing nothing but existing. Or worse yet, digressing. I can stay amazingly busy and justify everything I'm doing as absolutely necessary, and use that as an excuse to avoid that which I fear. That which I know has to be done. That which would make my life better and more successful if I would just make a step towards it, no matter how small.

I have many that will disagree with my next statement: "There are very few lazy people, mostly they are actually unmotivated, fearful, fear failure or success, or have emotional damage from people that have told them they were worthless".  It's demotivating to say the least. So, in essence, we hide. 

Some mountains seem unconquerable. "This will never change" is what we can end up believing. Let's speak a little bit about inertia. It is the force that begins to work for us as we step out of fear and take a step up that mountain. The smallest step is a good step. It gives inertia a chance.

The scripture about not working and not eating could also be related to endless other things in my opinion. What about "If you don't spend quality time with your kids, they will eventually resent you". The correct baby step for the work scripture may be looking at some classified ads instead of saying that there is nothing in there (fear, denial) or saying that in this economy there are too many people and you would never get picked. (fear of failure, fear of rejection) The correct baby step for the family quote might be to simply set apart one night a week - even one hour a week - and spend time doing what your son or daughter wants to do instead of saying "I'm just too busy right now" (fear of intimacy, low self-worth, consumed with personal issues) or "they don't want to spend time with me, they are at that age". (fear of rejection, guilt for past stuff)

The point is, much of this stuff gets called laziness. The list is virtually endless. If you don't eat right, you'll get fat and unhealthy. If you don't love others, you won't be loved. If you don't live within your means, you'll have mounting debt.

These are not just maxims. They are truths the belie the fear, anxiety, trust issues, abuse issues and self worth issues that often get labeled as laziness.

What about the stereotypical husband that won't do anything around the house? He's a lazy bum and she's a constant nag. He would do more but it's never good enough. She would not nag if he would do more. It's often a never-ending circular argument. First, is the man lazy? Or is he rife with failure issues and has an unappeasable wife who had a failure of a father or some other male figure? Now the husband has no chance. Is the bar set too high for him by some woman who is trying to find happiness in a picture-perfect husband because she is masking her own issues? 

Or is he dealing with some past issues that are too painful to deal with in his mind and he uses television and other distractions to escape? Is he medicating with pornography because he is a pervert or he has self-worth issues and can't seem to find the success he dreamed of as a kid? He can always get a smile and a nod of approval from the smiling beauty on the internet.

Pain, yes. Insecurity, yes. Fear, certainly. Laziness, rarely.

Simply taking a small step out of denial and in the general direction of healing is always the right thing to do. Remember, it's not about conquering the mountain, that's too big of a task. It's about taking a small step in that direction. The mountain is conquerable. 

That train you're waiting for is probably never coming. How long have you been waiting? What are some issues that may be keeping us from "working" in order that we may "eat"?

What is a step, even a small one, in the right direction for you?

keith winstead // director of celebrate recovery & worship arts
tel 910.454.9302 // fax 910.363.4097 // mobile 910.269.6738 // email // twitter // blog // www

I guess that's denial

Funny how I can distract myself from obvious things. I can stay busy and keep "important" projects going to keep me from facing some less than desirable realities. I guess it's called denial.

I can convince myself that these important things are in dire need of being done. In fact, no one else could do them. I'm that special. Meanwhile, life-changing situations go by the wayside because I can't face the obvious. Most people around me seem to see that I don't want to focus on the obvious. I don't care. I guess that's denial.

How many more things will I find to distract before I buckle down and go through whatever it is that will make me feel like a million bucks if I do. I know that I would be a different person, indeed, a much better human if I would face these obvious things. But I don't.

I guess that's denial.

Man, oh man, there is nothing like taking all my denial energy and putting it into a project or some other "important" thing or person. This HAS to be done! Right. But why do I feel so empty and fearful when that distraction ( important thing) is past. It can be debilitating. Literal depression can set in for days. Until.

Until I find a new distraction. (a.k.a. really important thing) Believe me, I can find a new distraction. I guess that's denial.

You know haw a two year old little girl will toy with a stranger trying to get their attention in the grocery store? They see the stranger, but they act like he does not exist. The stranger is seriously trying all he can to get the girl to look and smile. She's not buying what he's selling.

I feel like the two year old sometimes. For some reason I'm scared to look the other way and acknowledge someone who simply wants to be my friend. Perhaps it's the memories of others who have hurt me when I did reach out for acceptance and relationships? That's on me.

I guess that's denial.

keith winstead // director of celebrate recovery & worship arts
tel 910.454.9302 // fax 910.363.4097 // mobile 910.269.6738 // email // twitter // blog // www

Pain, confusion, depression, discontentment

Man, would the enemy love to keep us here. It becomes a way of life. Life just hurts sometimes; then it seems that no matter what happens to distract us, it's not good enough to alleviate the pain. It always seems to go bad at the end. Others tell us to "cheer up" and "it could be worse, ya know".

Shut the #@!*^# up! Right?

Words do not seem to work at these times. 

Unless. 

Unless God is actually speaking through that person to help us. That's so much different. People are like trees. Some are growing, some are dying, some are stagnate. I like to take advise from people that have fruit on their trees! Why does it seem like dying trees give the most advise? God used an unusual way to speak to me yesterday at church.

God was using cardboard testimonies to speak to the broken-hearted. God still speaks. As a matter of fact, He never stopped or even slowed down. Sometimes I stop listening though.

When we are dealing with pain, confusion, depression, and discontentment, it often becomes a way of life. We can become some sort of martyr without a cause. Self-pity can set in like rigor mortis. We try things like moving to a new area. We try planning some big event or getting deeply involved with other peoples concerns only to find that pain, confusion, depression, and discontentment come rushing back the next morning. Seems like it's often in the morning, doesn't it? Distractions only distract - they only prolong the inevitable.

Coming out of a dark area into a bright area can be difficult. Our eyes don't adjust that quickly. It is hard to see. It makes us feel weird, inadequate, and unworthy because we see others walking around in the light with no discernible vision problems. Often times we say "that's not for me". "I cannot". 

Then we withdraw back into darkness, wearing a mask that does not reflect what's going on inside.

I am thankful that God brought many people into my life that took great pleasure in holding my arms and directing me in the right direction when the light was far too bright for me to see. Today I am walking better on my own, directly with God. 

It just took a little while for my eyes to adjust.

keith winstead // director of celebrate recovery & worship arts
tel 910.454.9302 // fax 910.363.4097 // mobile 910.269.6738 // email // twitter // blog // www

Perspective

Psalm 1:3  And he shall be like a tree planted by the streams of water, That bringeth forth its fruit in its season, Whose leaf also doth not wither; And whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.

We are like the tree in many ways. We have one major difference though. We have a soul. We can think and process about all that is going on around us. When the wind comes, we complain. When the cold comes, we complain. When the storm comes, we're afraid. However, when we get a beautiful sunny day with a slight breeze, we are quite satisfied. It's refreshing and needed; if this is all we experienced each day, we would soon die.

We would accumulate so much dust and pollen that it would choke us out. It's the rain and wind that shake and cleanse. The violent storm that causes our entire body to tremble is the reason our roots dig deeper. Deep roots are what keep us growing taller and stronger. Now we are providing a canopy, oxygen, compost, and a safe haven so that others may live. 

And when I die - others can build with me and enjoy the fruit of my life. 

Stuffers

Hey you. Yes you. The stuffer. You know who you are. You do not have a vent. You have self-esteem issues. You don't think anyone will want to listen to you anyway. Because of feelings of inadequacy, you tend to keep it all in. 

This brings out the mask. That other you. The one that the world sees. It gets tiring keeping up that image of "all is well". Wouldn't it be nice to be you? You know that dream of telling people exactly how you feel and exactly what you are thinking? Wow, wouldn't it be nice to be the wonderful person that you really are? How relaxing and liberating would it be if you could put the mask (s) down? 

And live.

Welcome to Celebrate Recovery - See you any Friday night.

An atheist's thoughts...

Christians live lives that are practically indistinguishable from anyone else in society. This is because even Christians regard their own theology and its implications as too impractical and incompatible with modern life to take seriously. They continue to pay lip service to traditional religion, but when it comes to daily living they toss it aside as irrelevant. One critical example of this is the simple fact that most believers seek to exercise control over their lives and futures rather than passively leaving everything in the hand of their god.

~ By Austin Cline, About.com Guide to Atheism since 1998

That Moment

I was filming recovery testimonies for our upcoming Easter service
today. I hear a lot of amazing stories throughout a year. But this
was different. We are filming what will be presented as a 5-7 minute
testimony. So I was able to get the big picture fast so-to-speak. It
occurred to me that we are all so much alike.

Negative stuff happens in our past. We all handle it different - but
not really. It affects us and then we affect others negatively as a
result. This continues on until we die as we carry bitterness, anger
and guilt.

UNLESS.

Unless God turns our vision from outward to inward. Basically,
circumstances come about that cause us to forget and remember. Forget
all of the reasons for which we have blamed our pathetic lives and
circumstances. Forget all of the excuses that we have clung to for
years. Then we remember. Remember that God exists and can restore us
to sanity.

Some come to Celebrate Recovery and get set free. Some don't. There
is no difference from the outside looking in. We all have great
denial coming in. We all have that hurting from our past. Then there
is that critical time somewhere in the future when the pressure is
less. The pain is less. Some codependent person is letting us off
easy again. Then, right then, is when we find out if we are going to
make it this time. We choose to go on. we choose to actually be
proactive. We choose to be concerned about ourselves and others. We
want to be pleasing in God's sight.

We are all so similar in how we got here. But we are drastically
different in or outcomes.

Fickle Emotions

Crazy how one day I feel great and everything is going to be okay. Then, it can happen in one conversation, then I can feel as if the sky is falling. Stepping back and looking in, I would think that I am crazy!

It would be like a river rushing through great twists and turns. Forming rapids and making great progress towards the ocean. Does that river get told something and just reverse? Does it even slow down?

I need more faith. For we walk by faith and not by sight. Philippians states that: He that hath begun a work in me will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ. The river will keep flowing until the day I see HIS eyes. That's His promise. That's not my hope. That's not my wishes. He will never leave me nor forsake me. That's HIS promise. It's inescapable. 

What was that I was worried about again?

keith winstead // director of celebrate recovery & worship arts
tel 910.454.9302 // fax 910.363.4097 // mobile 910.269.6738 // email // twitter // blog // www

Blind as a Bat

Amazing how difficult it is to walk by faith and not by sight. NOT by how I feel. My feelings will lie to me. The scripture in Hebrews 11:6 that states "without faith it is impossible to please God" is alarming to us control freaks. Blind and often not feeling anything, I endeavor to act on scriptural principals - and keep doing it when it is not easy.

I will lie to myself. Straight up believe the lie that I tell my self. But not when I'm blind as a bat, walking by faith, and not by sight. 

May the bible be the guide that I use daily. May my actions line up with scripture. I am finding out that God really did leave me the bible as instruction in all things. 

I want to walk by faith. Faith in the word. Not by how I feel at the time.

Feelings are much like waves, we can't stop them from coming but we can choose which one to surf.  ~Jonatan Mårtensson

How Do I know I'm doing the right thing?

By doing what is in front of me with all that I have. Straight up. Weakness and doubt are destructive to me. Listen. Watch. It's God's job. Thank Him it's not my job. The Bible states: "If you don't work, you don't eat". There is something to hard work. Not hard "works".

We are also told to take no thought for tomorrow. Plan. Be proactive. I can't let my fear or anxiety keep me from planning ahead. Fear paralyzes. Do today what we can do today.

 Lamentations 3:21 states:  The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

I do not have control. I need new mercies every morning. I can do all things through Christ, which strengthens me. This takes faith. This takes trust. I don't trust easily. I know that I need to trust God. "Without faith, it is impossible to please God".

Lord, hold my hand. I need to trust you.