Pain, confusion, depression, discontentment

Man, would the enemy love to keep us here. It becomes a way of life. Life just hurts sometimes; then it seems that no matter what happens to distract us, it's not good enough to alleviate the pain. It always seems to go bad at the end. Others tell us to "cheer up" and "it could be worse, ya know".

Shut the #@!*^# up! Right?

Words do not seem to work at these times. 

Unless. 

Unless God is actually speaking through that person to help us. That's so much different. People are like trees. Some are growing, some are dying, some are stagnate. I like to take advise from people that have fruit on their trees! Why does it seem like dying trees give the most advise? God used an unusual way to speak to me yesterday at church.

God was using cardboard testimonies to speak to the broken-hearted. God still speaks. As a matter of fact, He never stopped or even slowed down. Sometimes I stop listening though.

When we are dealing with pain, confusion, depression, and discontentment, it often becomes a way of life. We can become some sort of martyr without a cause. Self-pity can set in like rigor mortis. We try things like moving to a new area. We try planning some big event or getting deeply involved with other peoples concerns only to find that pain, confusion, depression, and discontentment come rushing back the next morning. Seems like it's often in the morning, doesn't it? Distractions only distract - they only prolong the inevitable.

Coming out of a dark area into a bright area can be difficult. Our eyes don't adjust that quickly. It is hard to see. It makes us feel weird, inadequate, and unworthy because we see others walking around in the light with no discernible vision problems. Often times we say "that's not for me". "I cannot". 

Then we withdraw back into darkness, wearing a mask that does not reflect what's going on inside.

I am thankful that God brought many people into my life that took great pleasure in holding my arms and directing me in the right direction when the light was far too bright for me to see. Today I am walking better on my own, directly with God. 

It just took a little while for my eyes to adjust.

keith winstead // director of celebrate recovery & worship arts
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